Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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