woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
