You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
