Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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