When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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