I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
we're so committed to being not committed
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
