tequila makes me forget i have legs
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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