Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
