Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
