IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
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My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
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Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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