You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I understand Curling. That high.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
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