he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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