he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
