Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
