Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
