If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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