Nicole vs. Life
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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