she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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