my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Be still, my beating vagina.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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