so that wasnt chicken after all
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
