just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
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I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
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Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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