There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
