The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Randomize