just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
