After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
