She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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