its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions