Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas