Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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