Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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