you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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