It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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