names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
