If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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