he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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