We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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