He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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