Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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