I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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