people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
