yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
