Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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