that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
