Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
