The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
