I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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