you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
