The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
