i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
