I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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