so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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