I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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