woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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