That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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