HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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