Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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