I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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