dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
