I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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