Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found

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(352): View more from Florida

I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.

(352): View more from Florida

Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.

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(937): View more from Ohio

I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(562): View more from California

even your uterus rejects him.

(1-562): View more from California

apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.

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(235): View more from

I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.

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(630): View more from Illinois

whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.

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(205): View more from Alabama

WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.

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