i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon