her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
