Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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