oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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