im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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