There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
