I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
