Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
