To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
