I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
