I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
