I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always time for handjobs
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize